Confessions of a Romance Writer 11

There is no better place to reflect on one’s self than in the bathtub. Especially since your distorted image is staring back at you from the bathroom fixture (A distortion that adds improvement in my case!). Looking hard at myself, brought to mind my self image, and the image I wish to project to others. It’s not that I wish to deceive people, as much as I would like to deceive myself. God bless Oil of Olay! When people say “Maybe it’s Maybelline” when it pertains to me, your damn straight! I have studied the laws of Physics and have yet to find a way to overcome them. Gravity - 1, Janus - 0, gravity wins! So don’t be surprised if you find me in the aisle with the push-up bras at Wal-Mart, a girl will take all the help she can get! Yes, I dye my hair, I tried that salt and pepper thing once, and it lasted fifteen minutes. So, when it comes to taking my picture why should I be any different? I don’t see anything wrong in slapping on some makeup and putting on clean clothes before the shutter snaps. I am scary enough when I first wake up, why would I want to inflict that kind of horror on posterity? Then to top it off, I never look the same in any two given pictures, regardless. If you lined up all the pictures you could find of me you would swear they are different people. Even the ones taken minutes apart! Some people were made for the camera. I was not, and so I avoid it at any cost. If my loved ones want to remember me, I tell them to shut their eyes. Memories grow better in time, which works in my favor. Speaking of growing, I have come to the conclusion that my nose has been growing in these past few years. Another reason to insist on just the right angle before someone points that blasted box at me. I brought up all of this because of the topic I wanted to discuss this issue, profile pictures. There are all kinds of articles on the internet that give you the ins and outs, the dos and don’ts of profile pictures. If you want advice you won’t get it here, go look up those sites. This is strictly my observations.


This morning there was a question posted on the stream of one of my sites it simply asked “Why do people post pictures on their profile that make them look ten years younger than they are?” We are all social creatures, but we are also insecure creatures as well, and many people are just not comfortable with their own appearance. I can understand that I have never liked my looks. But as I take a gander at this World Wide Web and the various social networking sites I have, I have made one more observation. Some people are not satisfied just to post a picture of their younger selves they post unrealistic images that cause one to wonder just what are they hiding? The most popular is the beefsteak bodybuilder with his head cut off so all you see is a pair of pecks and nipples. OK I guess, if you are into Ichabod Crane, after all, headless Casanovas went out at the end of the French Revolution. Then there are those that are trying to make a statement although some statements are vaguer than others. Take for instance, the numerous pictures of cars. Are they telling you they have one? Well good for them! I have one too, it’s sitting in my parking lot dead, but I have one! Then there are the countless motorcycles, the next time I go on a date I’ll see if the Harley wants to go Dutch. Some are just symbolic, I can understand those. If one has an animal nickname I can see posting a wolf or eagle but what’s up with the pig? For myself I have two profile pictures both were taken minutes apart yet I look totally different in them. Different lighting and different cameras but they are still only a few months old. Oh well, to each his own! My next profile picture I am planning to do full body, so don’t be surprised when you see me at Wal-Mart in the girdle section!

Blessed Be

Janus