CONFESSIONS OF A ROMANCE WRITER

It’s snowing again!!!! Once again I sit at my keyboard ready to fill the world with romantic illusions, I could use a good illusion myself. Where do the romance writers go to get a good fix? Recently I have been thrust back out into the dating world, what a tragedy. Every writer goes through a dry spell, mine usually last a few days. Most writers are influenced by the circumstances that surround them. So here I sit, surrounded by five screaming boys, who are home, once again, because it’s snowing out. The living room is a battleground, full of toys and wet clothes. The refrigerator will be empty by noon, and at least three major fights will incur over the Wii.


On a whim, I joined a dating service. Oh, the perils of opening yourself up to desperate men! The catch phrase for the year must be soulmate. In the past few days, I have gotten hundreds of hits by men all looking for their soulmate! Seems there’s a lot of soul searching out there. I am convinced the majority of hits must be computer generated. I find that doing mindless activities clears my mind and frees me from writers block. What better place to get some inspiration than from several dozen flirts posted in your inbox? I guess that would work, if I wasn’t being hit in the head with a dirty sock or subjected to yet another fart contest by the ten year olds, and I have several ten year old grandsons. Romance was good that year, a least for my children. But alas, it’s snowing again and school’s out again.

When I was growing up, the only thing that would have closed school, would have been an atomic blast. How I long for the good old days! Subjecting adults to summer vacation is quite enough quality time with the little hellions! I get some of my greatest inspiration of sheer evil by watching the boys share or shall I say not share. But still, there are some tender moments I have locked away in my heart for future reference.

But back to the quire of the day. Where does a romance writer go to get some inspiration? I guess I could read a fellow author’s work, but that might border on plagiarism. I could watch a real syrupy comedy romance or even hang out at the card section of Walmart and read some sweetheart greeting cards (that really doesn’t work). I am always open to suggestions. What I think I need is a real good love affair. But I have a bad reputation. Most men when they find out I write romance novels wiggle their eyebrows and smile sultry at me and say, “So, would you like some new material for your book?” Everybody’s a Don Juan! I’ve tried to look at my predicament from a subjective point of view. After all, I do write some pretty steamy material and most men, at one time or another, think with what’s in their pants. Yesterday, I was convinced I would just write off men all together, maybe I would have more luck with a monkey (my girlfriend told me if I find a good one to see if he’s got a brother). Who’s the desperate one now? So here I am, a romance writer looking for romance, go figure! Fortunately, all dry spells come to an end.