CONFESSIONS OF A ROMANCE WRITER

CONFESSIONS OF A ROMANCE WRITER




It’s Friday! It’s Friday! All week long we looked forward to today. It’s ladies night, free admission, free, beer, the best we could hope for especially since we’re all broke. After all, we might get LUCKY! After all the dating scene has been quite dry for all of us, except Jessie. But even Jessie has resorted to skimming Face Book for some hot prospects. The other day she found Adonis in South Dakota. I had my head in the computer when I received a friend suggestion. I clicked on the message there before my eyes was a beautiful man. Jessie had sent me the suggestion. I im’ed her “Who is he, he is beautiful?” She typed back “I don’t know but I have first dibbs!” I replied, “Too late we’ve already eloped!” “Nooooo!” Desperate women do desperate things, we both sent a friends requests. Wishful thinking!



I find myself looking more carefully at the profiles forwarded by the dating service I belong to these days. I get a kick out of the names these men choose for themselves. How many women are really going to jump at the prospect of meeting HTSTD50. It’s a contradiction of terms. But honestly, the dating scene is so different these days. I saw an advertisement for a dating service for adults 45 an up. The byline was Senior Singles. Since when are you a Senior at 45? When I think of a Senior, I think of my 84 yr old mother. Anyone who can put a good shitter on the night before, and wake up with the hangover from hell is NOT a Senior! So what it lasts until late in the afternoon, and sometimes the next day! We just drink more mature drinks these days!



It is an absolute killer going out with my girls. Besides the fact that they are both drop dead gorgeous, they moan and groan like old ladies. At least I keep my aches and pains to myself! They ask me where I was ten years ago when they were clubbing three and four times a week? I was married, they were there, don’t they remember? I thought I saw them pass me in the hall, on occasion. So now their mother’s new single status has them perplexed. They question where there this new found energy I have acquired has come from. Desperate women will resort to desperate measures!



But honestly, how much of a chance do I have when every man that comes over to the table thinks they have a chance at a night of hot romance with one of them? I prefer to sit alone. Every so often, they drag me out to the dance floor, I just don’t go that low anymore! But I still can hold my drinks better than them. At least I don’t walk into pillars, or land on my ass on the dance floor, I have too much dignity. I wait until I get out in the parking lot, then I land on my ass.



At least I get a lot of material for my writing. There must be thousands of pick up lines created by some lost soul sitting in his living room feverishly typing out the list and posting them on the net. Some of them are quite creative. I have heard them all. Not directed at me mind you, toward my daughters. I prefer to sit alone. I just can’t compete with them. Just when I think I’ve got a shot, and a good looking man sits down to talk with me my hopes come crashing down, he’s gay! We end up comparing notes, how depressing! At least, I’ve got a better rack than him!



But it’s Friday morning, all week I’ve been thinking about getting out of this house. Chances are I’ll go home alone as always, but we are such social animals and social interaction is good for the soul. Prospects look good right now, so everything is a go! Later on I’ll take a nice long bubble bath and find something low cut to show off my attributes. We’ll all pile into the car and head off for a night of free beer and Karaoke. And if you happen to be a really good looking man and you join me at my table and your gay, keep it to yourself, a girl can only hope!