Confessions of a Romance Writer 11

There is no better place to reflect on one’s self than in the bathtub. Especially since your distorted image is staring back at you from the bathroom fixture (A distortion that adds improvement in my case!). Looking hard at myself, brought to mind my self image, and the image I wish to project to others. It’s not that I wish to deceive people, as much as I would like to deceive myself. God bless Oil of Olay! When people say “Maybe it’s Maybelline” when it pertains to me, your damn straight! I have studied the laws of Physics and have yet to find a way to overcome them. Gravity - 1, Janus - 0, gravity wins! So don’t be surprised if you find me in the aisle with the push-up bras at Wal-Mart, a girl will take all the help she can get! Yes, I dye my hair, I tried that salt and pepper thing once, and it lasted fifteen minutes. So, when it comes to taking my picture why should I be any different? I don’t see anything wrong in slapping on some makeup and putting on clean clothes before the shutter snaps. I am scary enough when I first wake up, why would I want to inflict that kind of horror on posterity? Then to top it off, I never look the same in any two given pictures, regardless. If you lined up all the pictures you could find of me you would swear they are different people. Even the ones taken minutes apart! Some people were made for the camera. I was not, and so I avoid it at any cost. If my loved ones want to remember me, I tell them to shut their eyes. Memories grow better in time, which works in my favor. Speaking of growing, I have come to the conclusion that my nose has been growing in these past few years. Another reason to insist on just the right angle before someone points that blasted box at me. I brought up all of this because of the topic I wanted to discuss this issue, profile pictures. There are all kinds of articles on the internet that give you the ins and outs, the dos and don’ts of profile pictures. If you want advice you won’t get it here, go look up those sites. This is strictly my observations.


This morning there was a question posted on the stream of one of my sites it simply asked “Why do people post pictures on their profile that make them look ten years younger than they are?” We are all social creatures, but we are also insecure creatures as well, and many people are just not comfortable with their own appearance. I can understand that I have never liked my looks. But as I take a gander at this World Wide Web and the various social networking sites I have, I have made one more observation. Some people are not satisfied just to post a picture of their younger selves they post unrealistic images that cause one to wonder just what are they hiding? The most popular is the beefsteak bodybuilder with his head cut off so all you see is a pair of pecks and nipples. OK I guess, if you are into Ichabod Crane, after all, headless Casanovas went out at the end of the French Revolution. Then there are those that are trying to make a statement although some statements are vaguer than others. Take for instance, the numerous pictures of cars. Are they telling you they have one? Well good for them! I have one too, it’s sitting in my parking lot dead, but I have one! Then there are the countless motorcycles, the next time I go on a date I’ll see if the Harley wants to go Dutch. Some are just symbolic, I can understand those. If one has an animal nickname I can see posting a wolf or eagle but what’s up with the pig? For myself I have two profile pictures both were taken minutes apart yet I look totally different in them. Different lighting and different cameras but they are still only a few months old. Oh well, to each his own! My next profile picture I am planning to do full body, so don’t be surprised when you see me at Wal-Mart in the girdle section!

Blessed Be

Janus

Confessions of a Romance Writer 10

Eureka! I found men! Oodles and oodles of men. Fat ones, skinny ones, sexy ones…. OMG I struck it rich! Where has this site been all my life! The site is called myYearbook and it is filled with yummy men. A girl could get carried away. Oh, to the hell with it! I’m getting carried away! And the best part about it is, it’s free! You heard me, no membership fees! You have got to check this site out, you will not be sorry. But I warn you, you better down a couple of energy drinks before you hit the keyboard. It is very fast paced, with tons of activities to help you find the man or woman of your dreams. And I think you have a very good shot of it here. The people who developed this site are genius’. It’s a sexy, savvy version of facebook.




What’s more I found Wiccan men, juicy, luscious Pagan men, oh boy, am I gonna have fun! Watch out boys, there’s a witch on the prowl! All those tasty morsels, it’s a smorgasbord! The developers have this ingenious game called blind date that matches people and gets them to check out each others profiles that’s half the battle, then you can take it from there. Although, I will add a word of caution here, you should always use your best judgment when dealing with any kind of online dating and even though the developers do their best to help to keep you safe, your ultimate safety is your responsibility. Never rush into meeting someone just because they give you a smooth line. But with a mature perspective you can have a blast!



I haven’t mastered all the ins and outs of the site yet, there are so many to explore, but one of the features is that people can bid on owning your picture and it can get pretty intense and it is also very flattering. The other day I found myself riveted while two men battled it out over me. Go figure! I have received numerous emails and some were very sweet. There is a feature incorporated into the message system if you need to report abuse and you can always remove someone from your friends list, although the potential is there I have not encountered such a problem.



You can send each other cute savvy, sexy flirts and gold stars and high fives in all the site is designed to get you to meet people and have the most pleasant experience you can. You can also give gifts and stickers. All purchased with lunch money you earn by playing the games. And then there is your popularity rating. It starts out high and then it’s up to you to keep it up. All in all I think you will enjoy it I do.



Now enough of being the nice witch, it’s time to go hunting!

Until next time Blessed Be

Confessions of a ROmance Writer 9

This one’s for all the single mother’s.



Well another Mother’s Day has come and gone. I spent my day alone for the most part. Well, alone is not really the right terminology. You see, my children are all grown and have their own respective families and obligations to their extended families. They spend the day running. I prefer to stay home and relax, after all, that’s really what the day is all about. But alone, I am never alone. I am a priestess of the Most high God of this Universe, He is always with me walking with me, talking to me. I am also a witch, and with that I also practice a form of meditation called astral-projection. I usually spend mother’s day with my grandmother Assunta. She crossed over about twenty years ago, but I still glean her wisdom to this day. She was an Italian witch when it was not safe to admit who you really were. She grew up in the back hills of Palermo, in a town called Gangi. There she learned life’s lessons and the craft. My grandmother is a very wise woman and I always enjoy sitting at her feet and taking her council. As we walked through the Summerlands this year she laid it upon my heart the importance of motherhood and about a aspect of it that is not always appreciated. She spoke to me about all the single mothers in the world today, something that was a rarity when she was young. Women stayed with their men back then regardless of their treatment. It was unheard of for a woman to be independent unless she was a widow. My grandmother knew this all too well, she had fourteen children and my grandfather was a womanizing, abusive drunk. But she stayed lived on a farm in rural Massachusetts and didn’t even enter a grocery store until she moved to New York City. It was when she moved to the city that she encountered single mothers for the first time and at first it perplexed her, and then it marveled her. The tenacity of these women, who by then it was the early fifties, seemed to defy all traditions and social norms. By the late sixties and early seventies It was considered epidemic, as a new sexuality and an increasing amount of men shirking their responsibilities took the forefront. But now, it is for the most part a personal decision, but there are still too many men who don’t step up and do the right thing.

Single mothers have a very hard life. Although most will say the do fine alone, the challenges that they meet on a day to day basis would be easier with a significant other. Romance for the most part, is not the most prevalent thing in their lives. The pendulum as we are very aware swings both ways. Either she is faced with the decision to step up and have a social life, that sometimes can get out of hand or she sacrifices all and then is pitied. Whichever the case may be, romance is essential in ones life and a single mother has to meet many challenges to obtain that lofty goal. But they need romance in their lives. Every woman needs romance in her life. And so, I come to the lesson my grandmother so wisely chose to teach me this year, and that is to admire and appreciate all the single mothers on this Mothers Day. My hat’s off to them and I want to thank them for putting up the good fight. I want to thank them for their devotion to their children and stepping up and being two parents instead of one. And my greatest wish would be for them to have true romance in their lives and that all those reading this will help to bring that to fruition. Single moms need the love and support of their families and friends and a babysitter now and then. To all I hope you had a blessed Mother’s Day until next time
 Blessed Be!

Confessions of a Romance Writer 8

Have you ever thought about those voyeuristic questions that are found right under social network feeds?


I go into my email and there is the question, “What are you doing right now?” And then there is the standard “Tell me what’s on your mind.” It kind of reminds me of a phone call I got once. A very sultry voice asked me, “What are you wearing?” To that I replied, Dominick, is that you?



There are just some things in this lifetime that I was not cut out to deal with, and anything that has to do with a computer or the internet falls right into that category. But, life is a bitch, and I have five websites sooooo dealing with the cyber-world is a necessity. I have contemplated finding a time machine and returning to the stone age. Life was so simple back then. One didn’t have to get pissed off when there was a power outage and all of one’s work was just lost. After all, how often did a campfire go out from a gust of wind. These days one good gust and the pole sways, the transformer blows and instant darkness. Of coarse, this only happens when there’s not one damn candle in the house. If I had a stockpile, I wouldn’t feel the slightest breeze.



Another thing I just can’t seem to get a grip on are those games on Facebook and MySpace. Oh, I have tried. But I just end up with dead crops, starving fish, and my cat Ipswitch has fleas. I try to be a good neighbor and return all the gift requests but there are so many that I have received the game won’t let me receive anymore, until I deal with the ones I have. Only I can’t figure out how to open them, let alone find them. They are somewhere in that cyber world waiting in a great big pile yearning for my attention. They better not hold their breath. All I can say to all my friends is…. I’ll send you gifts PLEASE don’t send me any. I promise I won’t forget you! But please, don’t offended. I can’t seem to load pictures onto my laptop either. Simple mundane tasks are just beyond me. I have Photo Shop but can’t seem to figure out how it works. So, pictures are very rare in our family and if by chance you get one from me treasure it.



So, I decided to take the plunge and join Plenty-O- F---, you get it right? Filling out the first part of the registration was no problem. I can spell my name and I do remember my address. Then I got to the description part. You know, the about me block. The tell us all your deepest desires in a mate part. Mine is simple… male. The instructions say list all of your attributes and interests, the more the better the chance is of receiving replies. And that got me thinking about all the things I shouldn’t put in my description such as:



I have two left feet, when I was a little girl I went to dancing school. Whenever the music would start the instructor would walk over to me and sit me back down. It was that, or a pile of little girls in tutu’s in the middle of the dance floor.



I’m not that great in sports. If you throw a ball at me, chances are I will close my eyes and the ball will be lost forever.



If I’m reading I can’t hear you. You can be standing right over me banging on a drum and you will not get a response. Everybody knows this, so why do they still get mad at me?



I am not listening to everyone’s conversation. In fact, most of the time I am not very interested in what other people have to say. So, I can’t understand why my family gets annoyed when I say the two most used words in my vocabulary. What? Who?



My kids call me book smart and street stupid. ?????????????



So I talk to the turtle.



No, I do not believe in little green men. Yes, I do believe in ghosts.



And when all is said and done, if you are angry with me don’t be surprised if I’m smiling.



Now What should I write in my description?

confessions of a romance writer 6

So, I have decided to become a cougar. The problem is that the male population of East Tennessee doesn’t agree with me. So, I guess I’ll just have to depend on Karma and the dating service. I have also decided to make an effort to go out more, be seen, mingle and be more outgoing. At least it sounds good in theory. With that in mind, tonight I’m going to midnight bowling (wanna take bets how long it takes me to fall on my ass!). I know that it’s suppose to be family night, but there must be some single men there. That’s why I bought a new outfit, and it’s not all black…. it’s black and white. I don’t just wear black. I wear grey, and brown too! But I’m beginning to receive a lot of flack from the minions. That’s why I added white to my wardrobe.




So, I’m all ready for my big night out. Going bowling. Going gorgeous. Going black and white. Going to get noticed. Going to get a man. Going to get sick! The other day I spent hours in the beauty parlor getting my hair and nails done. Then, I invested in new make up (Age defying make up my ass, I just got a minute older!). This is getting expensive! Now bowling, I even have to rent shoes! Plus the cost of my new duds! I’m not settling for anyone less than Prince Charming.



My son got a love letter the other day. It was from a girl he knew in high school. He hadn’t a clue who she was. At first he was flattered and then he was worried and then he got curious. It became his life’s goal to find out who this girl was. She told him she thought he was sexy and that she even had a tattoo that he inspired her to get. She wrote that she was ready to fry like bacon. Ok, I’m not going to go there. I wonder if I should be ready too! Never mind. My son has become an amateur Sherlock Holmes. He showed real initiative finding out all the info he could find about this girl. So, now my son will get more action than me. What else is new. So tonight is my night, gonna do a little scoping, a little smiling, and a lot of flirting.



We got to the bowling alley late. The first indication that my expectations were way too high was the empty parking lot. But ,I’m a firm believer of carpooling. So I wasn’t discouraged. The huge sign that hung over the doorway was encouraging. Moonlight Bowling! Beer served. That’s enough for me! The first bad sign was when we opened the door there was no music. Then the next sound I heard was that of a bowling ball striking pins. Two lanes occupied on each end and all the others empty! Greeneville, Tennessee is a city of Amazons don’t let anyone tell you different. There was not one man there. Except for the guy behind the counter. Oh well, let’s bowl!



Now let me remind you it took six weeks to write Stolen Moments, it took another three months of constant social networking and working with the publisher to get the book published. That’s almost six months of constantly sitting down and exercising only my fingers. I’m out of shape! Although none of this occurred to me as I approached the line, and let go of my first ball. Then it happened, every muscle that had laid dormant for the last half of a year screamed in agony. If I lift my shoulder my hip hurts. If I move too fast my head hurts, if I take a forward step my butt hurts. I don’t think there is one part of my body is that isn’t calling me a fool right now. But I persevered I bowled until three in the morning. A feat that has me surprised and proud at the same time. Well I didn’t come home alone. I brought with me every ache and pain of a well deserved night out. And you know what? I had fun, I laughed and enjoyed my friends company and without a man in sight. Maybe finding a man is too overrated.



Oh to hell with it, I start looking again tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

CONFESSIONS OF A ROMANCE WRITER 5

So, remind me again why I’m not supposed to go shopping with my daughter Jessica, especially when she wears spandex! Oh, that’s right, she’s drop dead gorgeous and twenty years younger!. I really shouldn’t be so surprised, after all, Jessica has been known to cause traffic accidents. I created a monster. The whole time she was growing up, I would ask her “Whose gorgeous?” She would look up at me with her ebony eyes and say “Me!” Then she’d melt your heart with her perfect smile. Yes, Jessie grew up knowing she was beautiful and she used it to her advantage. There were two certain things in our old neighborhood, the first was, that there was not a boy for miles that didn’t want to go out with Jessica, and she had a certain notoriety in the surrounding neighborhoods. Mind you, it was not an easy feat to become Jessie’s beau. She was given a nick name that stuck pretty much throughout her life. When the boys saw her coming, they would look at each other and say “Cha-Ching!” You got it, high matinance. That’s why I nearly fell to the floor when she married for love. Not that she doesn’t try to squeeze in some frivolous purchases now and then, but the finances are just not there. She has four growing boys. That’s when she turns to dear old mom to get that cute little outfit, or that new pair of shoes. But I don’t mind, she wears them well. Although Jessica, can make a dollar store ensemble look like it just stepped off a runway, she usually sticks to Walmart.


We had some running around to do and the weather is getting pretty hot here, so the first stop is for cold drinks. As we stood on line a rather good looking man my age walks over and gives me a sauntering sexy smile. Well maybe the day will turn out good after all. Jessica had stepped away and when she returned he looked at her and said “Are you two sisters?” Oh dear Goddess! I’ve heard that before. All it took was one small smile, and any chance I had was blown clear out the front door. “Oh,” she said sweetly, ‘that’s not my sister, that’s my mother, she’s not married, are you married?” As his eyes were glued to her he said “You have a very pretty mother.” just with whom was he trying to score brownie points? By now it was obvious there was no turning back, Jessica had won him over, she had the right intentions but, once again, I struck out. This is getting to be a habit.



I fair far much better when she’s not around, at least I have a fighting chance. I can hold my own ground. And since I put my picture on the dating website, I have a renewed faith in myself. I have gotten some pretty interesting offers, and some that I deleted immediately! I get a wide range of suitors from farmers to educators and everything in between. I had been communicating with a rather good looking engineer. He was just full of compliments, this was turning out to be a wonderful evening. He looked at me and said “You have beautiful eyes.” (not bad). The he said, “I’m the romantic type, I just love to cuddle.” (oh boy!)

Then he gazed into my eyes and said, “You know, you have just met the love of your life.” (alright I know it’s a line, but, KEEP THEM COMING!). This one shows promise. Then he preceded to tell me about the four other women he’s dating! I make #5.… JERK! …I knew it was too good to be true. I forgot to ask him if he was Mormon.



I’m not giving up! There is a man out there for me, I just know it! I just have to keep looking, and not go shopping with Jessica! You can purchase Stolen Moments at http://www.xlibris.com/JanusGangi.htm

CONFESSIONS OF A ROMANCE WRITER 4

Let's face it, modern technology can catch even the most savvy of us off guard. Here I am typing and writing away when I get an email to join someone on messenger. OK, not bad I'll chat for a while I have been working all day, and I can use some human contact. Mind you, I look rough, big glasses (I'm blind without them!) I have been babysitting, so fashion has not been my main concern, besides the good thing about chatting is you can do it in your PJ's and no one will ever know. Wrong! This great big box appears on the screen and before I can duck there is a web cam with a man staring at me! Oh Great Goddess! I look like hell, well there goes this one! I contemplated hitting the deck, but just as I was about to disappear I heard his voice! He not only could see me in all my grunge, he could hear me too! There is something just so wrong about that. All the mystery is gone. How is a woman suppose to create a mystique if a guy can see her with her hair sticking up and giant glasses.



I take great pride in my appearance before I leave the house. Only my closest neighbors have ever seen me in my everyday casual grunge. Reentering the dating scene was not a decision I took lightly. I had to consciously plan on increasing my wardrobe, my cosmetic supplies and get a hold of the nearest Avon rep and get more wrinkle reducer! My computer doesn't complain when my lipstick wears out or I scratch my butt, but there is a certain air that must be maintained if one is to land the perfect catch!

My computer doesn't care if my clothes don't match or if I don't have any makeup on. At least that was the way it used to be. But now it's a whole new ball game. Now I'm going to have to drag myself into then bathroom early in the morning (I'm not a morning person) and put on my face. Who knows when that damn messenger will go off! This is intimidating!



I remember taking my time getting ready for a date. Poring over my wardrobe, parading before the mirror and experimenting with every shade of lipstick until just the right shade was found. My grand entrance into the living room was nothing short of military precision. A certain ahhh value made the night more successful. But how much of an ahh value do you get when you look like you just cleaned the bathroom? But it's my own fault for not being more computer literate. I didn't even know there was a damn camera on my computer to begin with, yet alone, know I was having a guest this late at night. Surprise!!! The days of scratching my butt is over or is it? I guess I can just decline the next time that little buzzer goes off on the messenger! Now before I go and post this, I better go fix my makeup!